Dr. Mel's Message

 

Describing Emotions in a Novel: A Comprehensive Guide

One of the central tasks of a novelist is to evoke feelings in the reader. The portrayal of a character's emotions not only gives depth to the character but also makes the narrative more immersive and relatable. However, achieving this is easier said than done. Let's delve into the intricacies of describing emotions effectively in novels, complete with real examples and a tailor-made exercise.

1. Show, Don’t Tell

The first rule in describing emotions is the time-tested advice: show, don't tell. Instead of directly stating how a character feels, use their actions, dialogues, and surroundings to suggest it.

Example:

Telling: Sarah was sad.
Showing: Sarah's eyes welled up with tears, her gaze fixed on the photograph.

2. Use Physical Descriptions

Physical reactions often accompany strong emotions. Describing these can paint a vivid picture of the character's feelings.

Example:

Fear: John's heart raced, and a cold sweat broke out on his forehead.

3. Deploy Dialogue

Dialogues can be a window into a character's emotional state. The tone, choice of words, and even silences can be very revealing.

Example:

Anger: "You promised me!" Jane shouted, her voice cracking.

4. Internal Thoughts

Diving into a character's thoughts provides a direct insight into their emotional world. It's intimate and leaves little room for ambiguity.

Example:

Regret: If only I hadn’t been so careless, none of this would have happened.

5. Use the Environment

Sometimes, the surroundings can mirror a character’s emotional state, enhancing the atmosphere.

Example:

Loneliness: The room was silent except for the ticking of the old clock, its echo a reminder of the emptiness around.

6. Similes and Metaphors

Comparing emotions with familiar images can make them more tangible for readers.

Example:

Confusion: His thoughts were like a tangled web, each more convoluted than the last.

7. Use Strong Verbs

Active, vibrant verbs can convey emotion better than adverbs.

Example:

Telling: She looked at him angrily.
Showing: She glared at him.

Examples from Bestselling Novels

1. "His fear was whetted to such a fine edge that he could almost feel it shaving slices from his soul." - Night Shift by Stephen King
2. 
   
3. "She seemed a compound of the autumn leaves and the winter sunshine..." - Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy, capturing the essence of melancholy and warmth.
4. 
   
5. “I wanted to tell her that I was getting better because that was supposed to be the narrative of illness: It was a hurdle you jumped over, or a battle you won. Illness is a story told in the past tense.” - The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, illustrating the emotions surrounding illness and recovery.

Exercise to Sharpen Emotional Descriptions

1. Describe a character's joy without using the word "happy" or "joyful."
2. Convey fear through a character's reaction to a loud noise.
3. Use dialogue to show surprise.
4. Portray regret using a memory.
5. Use the setting to mirror a character’s sorrow.
6. Create a metaphor for excitement.
7. Describe anxiety using physical symptoms.
8. Convey jealousy through a character's observation of two people.
9. Show determination through a character's actions.
10. Describe nostalgia using a familiar scent.
11. Convey confusion without using the word "confused".
12. Use a simile to describe anger.
13. Show relief through a character’s sigh.
14. Describe hope with a sunrise.
15. Convey despair using a stormy setting.
16. Use dialogue to show impatience.
17. Describe love through a character’s gesture.
18. Convey embarrassment without using the word "embarrassed".
19. Show pride through a character's posture.
20. Describe melancholy with a piece of music.

Here are concrete examples for the above. How did you do?

1. Describe a character's joy:

• Her eyes sparkled, and a wide grin took over her face.
• Every step she took was light, as if she were walking on air.
• Laughter bubbled up from her, infectious and unrestrained.

2. Convey fear through reaction to a loud noise:

• Her eyes widened, and she froze, every muscle tensed.
• He ducked instinctively, hands rising to shield his head.
• Her breath hitched, and she scanned the room frantically, looking for an exit.

3. Use dialogue to show surprise:

• "You did what?!"
• "I can't believe you're here! How?"
• "Wait, that's the big news?"

4. Portray regret using a memory:

• She remembered the way his eyes looked that day, full of hope, and how she'd turned away.
• Every time he passed that old cafe, the weight of words unsaid pressed on him.
• The echo of her refusal from years ago still played in her ears.

5. Use the setting to mirror sorrow:

• The once vibrant garden now lay in neglect, its flowers wilting.
• Raindrops clung to the windowpane, tracing slow paths downward.
• The empty park bench, once their favorite spot, now sat cold and unused.

6. Create a metaphor for excitement:

• His heart was a drum beating wildly in the grand parade of his emotions.
• She felt like a pot of water on the verge of a rolling boil.
• Excitement danced within her, like a candle flame flickering wildly.

7. Describe anxiety using physical symptoms:

• Her fingers tapped incessantly, her breaths coming in short, rapid spurts.
• He felt a tight knot in his stomach, unyielding and oppressive.
• Cold sweat formed on her brow, her eyes darting around restlessly.

8. Convey jealousy through observation:

• She watched as he laughed at something the other woman said, a pang hitting her chest.
• His eyes narrowed slightly as he watched them walk away together.
• The way she touched his arm made a sour taste form in her mouth.

9. Show determination through actions:

• Despite the blisters, she laced up her shoes and kept running.
• He burned the midnight oil, his focus unbroken till dawn.
• Even as doors closed, she knocked again and again, unwilling to be turned away.

10. Describe nostalgia using scent:

• The smell of fresh baked bread transported him to his grandmother's kitchen.
• A whiff of lavender reminded her of summer days spent in her mother's garden.
• The distinct scent of old books brought back hours spent in his childhood library.

11. Convey confusion:

• He scratched his head, eyes darting between the choices.
• She looked around, lost, as everyone else seemed to know where to go.
• The puzzle pieces lay scattered, and he had no idea where to start.

12. Use a simile for anger:

• His temper was like a bull seeing red.
• She burned with a fury akin to a forest fire.
• His anger bubbled up, like water reaching its boiling point.

13. Show relief with a sigh:

• He sank into the chair, letting out a long sigh of relief.
• She closed her eyes, a heavy sigh escaping her lips.
• After hearing the news, he exhaled a sigh that seemed to carry the weight of the world.

14. Describe hope with sunrise:

• As the first rays broke the horizon, hope swelled in her chest.
• With every inch the sun climbed, his spirits lifted higher.
• The dawn brought with it fresh hope, washing away the darkness of doubt.

15. Convey despair using a stormy setting:

• Thunder rumbled, echoing the turmoil in his soul.
• The relentless rain mirrored her tears, both seemingly unending.
• Dark clouds loomed overhead, as despair settled in his heart.

16. Use dialogue for impatience:

• "Can you hurry up?"
• "Are we done yet?"
• "How much longer?"

17. Describe love through a gesture:

• He brushed a stray hair behind her ear, his touch lingering.
• She looked into his eyes and squeezed his hand, conveying all she felt.
• Every night, he'd tuck a fresh flower under her windshield wiper.

18. Convey embarrassment:

• Her cheeks turned a shade of crimson.
• He looked down, avoiding everyone's gaze.
• She wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole.

19. Show pride through posture:

• He stood tall, shoulders back, basking in the applause.
• She walked with a stride that commanded respect.
• With chin up, he faced the audience, confident and proud.

20. Describe melancholy with music:

• The haunting notes of a violin played, echoing the sadness within.
• A slow, melancholic piano piece filled the room, heavy with emotion.
• The bluesy chords of a guitar painted a picture of heartache and longing.

Conclusion

Describing emotions is an art form that requires both subtlety and precision. While it's easy to fall back on stating emotions directly, the real magic lies in painting them with nuances, metaphors, actions, and dialogues. Regular practice, like the exercise above, can sharpen this skill, allowing authors to weave narratives that resonate deeply with readers. After all, at the heart of every memorable novel is the human experience, raw and unfiltered.