Monday, July 22, 2019


My Granddaughter, My Best friend
I woke up this morning and realized that the month of July is a third of the way gone and only in a matter of weeks children will be going back to school or going to school for the first time. Ouch! That really emotionally hurts for me because, since the first day of my granddaughter's birth, I have babysat her. My mom, tells me that my granddaughter is my Velcro baby. We are best friends in every way and spend a lot of time together coloring, painting, swimming, feeding the ducks, taking walks to smell the roses, shopping, and she has spent hours in my office at her "Desk" editing or in my lap as I edit reading a book or watching educational videos. So, why does this hurt that school is starting? She starts pre-school, oh my. NO!!!! I want her with me. Trust me when I say it was easier sending my three daughters off to kindergarten, than sending my best friend to pre-school. I know, I'll adjust.

When I think of the adjustment my daughter will have with her morning routine of now getting my granddaughter and her two older boys up in the morning, feeding them, getting their lunches, and making sure they have their homework, I relaxed. No, not me. I've been there and done that.

Change is inevitable. However, I am currently working with an author, Peter J. Liang, who has a fabulous book that can help children from eight to twelve develop leadership skills and I am proud to announce that my publishing company Absolute Author Publishing House published it. During this process, we Beta tested the book with four of my grandkids and they loved it; so, I can personally recommend the book. I have more excitement to share because his book launched over the weekend as the #1 New Release on Amazon. Congratulations Peter for writing a wonderful book for children.

Now for a special treat, Peter is guest blogging for me today. I think you'll find it very interesting as it speaks to the topic of getting your children ready for school in the morning without all the fuss.


The #1 Strategy to a Less Stressful Morning with Kids

“Morning is an important time of day because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.”
– Lemony Snicket

One of the core lessons I teach during my Leadership4Kids program is that morning is an important time of the day. How you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have. That’s why, as you can see below, I ask kids to pay close attention to their mornings and track their “morning happiness” in their I AM A LEADER journal.

As parents, we have all been there. Getting an entire family up, dressed, fed, and out the door in the morning is no walk in the park. According to the American Institute of Stress (yes, there is such an institute), morning is one of the most stressful times of day for most families.

However, do mornings have to be this way? In fact, instead of stressful, what if mornings are the most beautiful and peaceful time of day? Is this possible? If so, what’s the best morning routine?

I get that question a lot when talking to the parents from my Leadership 4 Kids program. The honest answer is that there is NO such a thing as the best morning routine. It is really whatever works for you and your family. Every child is different, every family is different, and we have to try different ideas and see what works the best for our situation.

With that said, there is one underlying strategy that seems to lead to a less stressful morning for most kids and families. And that strategy is called “help me, help you.”  Here’s a scenario to illustrate what I mean

The bus will be here in five minutes, and my ten-year-old son can’t find his homework, AGAIN!

With this “Help me, help you” strategy, as a parent,  the only question you want to think about at this moment is, “How can I help?” Your choices are either I am going to search around the house and help him find it, or if I can’t find it or don’t have the time, let him suffer the natural consequence.

As such, there would be no lecturing, no yelling, no scolding, and no, “How many times have I told you that you should pack your book bag the night before,” because none of that is “Helpful” in the morning. If a parent feels the need to talk to the kid about this, unless it’s a serious emergency, just wait till the end of the day or in the evening to have that conversation.

This strategy extends to all family members, husband, wife, siblings, and every family member is expected is to help one another, if needed. No yelling, no whining. All that can wait. What I have found is most of the time, whatever the problem was in the morning, by the time it gets to the end of the day, it’s forgotten.

This is great, right? What a simple strategy. Well, like most strategies, it’s simple to understand but very difficult to do.  Because, what this strategy requires us (as parents) to do is, at that very moment (when something didn’t go as planned), to put our own need to “Express our frustration” aside, and prioritize the family’s need to “Have a less stressful morning,”  In other words, it requires is a lot of presence and self-awareness on the part of the parents.

As parents, it’s very easy for us to get annoyed or triggered in the morning and before you know it, we are already raising our voices and barking out orders, “How many times have I told you to pack your homework the night before and you never listen.”  The problem with this kind of verbal sparring in the morning is: 1) It’s not going to magically change kids behavior, 2) It’s not helpful to the situation, and  3) It sets off a chain reaction which carries into the next interaction, the next person we encounter, onto the bus, when they get to school, etc.  The ripple effect is often more profound than we can imagine.

So how do you gain that sense of presence, to create that space in the morning? Again, different people have different solutions, and I can only share my own experience.  For me,  it’s very important to take a 45-60 minutes walk in the morning before the rest of my family get up. It doesn’t matter rain, shine, snow. That’s my anchor for the day.

During the walk, I usually just let my mind wander. It could be new ideas related to work, some presentations I have to give next week, listening to an entertaining podcast or audio book, basically whatever I feel like. There are days, for whatever reason, I feel stressed. Then I do a walking meditation in the Zen Buddhism tradition, to unwind and ground myself a bit more. Ten times out of ten, when I get home from my these morning walk, I feel happier and ready for the day.

This works for me but may not work for everyone, and even with that, I have had my fair share of stressful mornings as well. We all have those days, and that’s the ebb and flow of family life, but the point is we all need to pay more attention to our mornings and find our way to a beautiful and peaceful morning. Some people take five min mindfulness meditation, whereas some go workout. There are lots of easy ways, as mentioned in Tim Ferris popular blog on morning routine – 5 Morning Rituals That Help You Win the day. The point is simply -- by bringing more presence and following a simple “How can I help you” strategy; it will lead to a less stressful morning with kids. As the old proverb goes

A good morning leads to a good day.

Good days to a good week.

Good weeks to a good month.

Good months to a good year.

Good years to a good life.

Ernest Enabulele

Hold on, there is more to come and this author interview comes just in time for all of the college graduates who will now enter the job market. Today, getting into the door of the company who want to work for is hard than ever and the competition is strong. That is why graduates must arm themselves to make the first impression. Ernest Enabulele is a Best-selling author of "Interview Preparation And Success Tips" and "Effective Interview Tips," interview coach, motivational speaker and CV/Career Specialist based in London, England and can help you achieve your dreams. Read about him and his book below.

Tell your readers a little about yourself, where you grew up, where you live now, where you went to school etc. Let them get to know the personal you.

Ernest Enabulele is a Best-selling author of "Interview Preparation And Success Tips" and "Effective Interview Tips," interview coach, motivational speaker and CV/Career Specialist based in London, England. I grew up in Nigeria began coming to London to study mental health nursing, presently live in London, and l also studied literature at a university in Nigeria.

What inspired you to author this book?
What inspired me to write this book is due to the demands of my clients; i.e,  job applicants yearning to read my books based on the fact that I am an interview coach with more than ten years experience. Having been preparing job applicants for a range of job interview scenarios l noticed they struggle with lack of preparation, low self-esteem, and more.

1   Where did you get the inspiration for your book’s cover?
Michelle Obama’s book cover.

2 Who has been the most significant influence on you personally and as a writer?
Steve Harvey, Barrack Obama, and TD Jakes.

   What were your struggles or obstacles you had to overcome to get this book written?
Self-doubt, getting the right audience for my book, how to market the book.

    Tell your readers about your book.
In “Interview Preparation and Success Tips,” you will discover:

1. The twenty tried and tested Do´s to succeed at every job interview,
2. The five most important steps for successful interview preparation,
3. How to make an exceptional first impression that no one will ever forget,
4. Key tips for isolating your biggest strengths and how to show them to the interviewer,
5. How to answer the ten most common job interview questions,
6. Techniques for dealing with difficult and unexpected questions,
7. The seven expert tips for making sure you don’t become tongue-tied,
8. A guide to the special method that has helped countless graduates land their dream jobs,
9. The forty-five most common behavioral questions, and
much, much more.

5  Who is your target audience, and why?
Job applicants who are struggling to land the job of their dreams.

6  What do you consider your greatest success in life?
A man of value, writing interview guide books and also a bestselling author on Amazon.

7   What one unique thing sets you apart from other writers in your genre?
Passionate about my books to ensure it solves the problem for job applicants who have been turned down in various job interviews attended.