Every once in a while I come across an inspiring memoir or autobiography that not only engages me, but also provides me encouragement. Lately, after my mother passed less than a month ago, I needed all of the encouragement I could get. Sometimes, you'll find it in the most unexpected ways. That is the case of today's book, "If the Shoe Fits - The Story of a Real Life Cinderella" by actress Emma Fletcher. I hope you enjoy learning about her and her book.
ABOUT THE BOOK
- Paul Burton, Writer and Theatre, Film and TV Historian
I’ve always believed I
grew up under the guidance of a bright shining light – perhaps that is why I
have always reached for the stars. Emma’s story is one of
courage, determination and self-belief and a battle against all odds. She
openly lays her heart and soul on the line allowing the reader to share in her
heartaches, and triumphs, whilst at the same time being a source of
inspiration. Hers is a story that will keep you engrossed until the very end.
An engaging true life story and a must read!
- Spencer Lloyd-Peet – Writer for Cinema Retro
- Spencer Lloyd-Peet – Writer for Cinema Retro
Synopsis
Enjoy books based on real life? Looking
for a book to connect to, having survived trauma or in the process of facing a
personal battle?
“If the Shoe Fits - the Story of a Real
Life Cinderella,” is the autobiography of one woman’s journey through a series
of traumatic events, aimed at empowering the reader with their own battles.
Author Emma Fletcher, leads her readers through her heartwarming personal
battle with tragedy, explaining how she dealt with each event faced. Fletcher
openly considers and analyses, how each event impacted upon her life and
subsequently lead her to self-realization. She looks at how each moment shapes
us into who we become and ultimately how she broke the cycle of allowing trauma
to define her. Fletcher eloquently describes how she dealt with each event and
how, through soul-searching and personal discovery, she was able to understand
what these life changing events meant to her purpose in life. As she looks at
how these discoveries enabled her to come out the other side of each traumatic
moment with renewed hope, she considers how grief and tragedy can be used as a
tool to empower us, rather than needing to define us. The author manages to
offer readers a sense of self-empowerment over their own lives, through her
candid and refreshing writing style and earnest approach to her life. If the
Shoe Fits is an honest and thought-provoking journey, filled with parables on
life and a look at how it is possible to deal with each encounter we face,
allowing it to become a positive learning curve, to lead us to the next moment
in our life. Aimed at helping people in a similar situation, Fletcher reflects
on how each event both shaped her and made her into the person she is today.
Her story will make you question whether there really is such a thing as
coincidence or whether each and every moment, is intentionally designed to lead
us to the next; the building blocks of life and the very foundations of who we
are.
Emma
Fletcher
 |
| Photo Credit: Claire Curtis |
If
the Shoe Fits – The Story of a Real Life Cinderella
Tell your readers a little about yourself. Where you grew
up, where you live now, where you went to school etc. Let them get to know the personal
you.
My maternal grandmother always used to say to me, “One day someone will write a book about your life” and funny enough, I always knew they probably would.
If you were going to give one reason for anyone looking at your book to read, why should they buy it?
To be inspired to allow yourself to follow your dreams; no matter the odds or the adversity you have faced in life.
‘Wow!’ and ‘Gosh!’ are normally the words
people use upon hearing my life-story for the very first time. This is usually
followed immediately with the words, “You could write a book!”
My journey so far has been an unusual one, to say the least. Raised by my maternal grandparents and witnessing the untimely death of both my mother and father whilst still very young, I was subsequently rejected by close members of my immediate family. This led me to become affectionately known amongst my friends as ‘The real Cinderella.’
They
say most people do not recall memories earlier than the age of three unless
they evolved from traumatic experiences. Perhaps this is why I have such early
recollections. My life has truly been a roller-coaster of emotional events, but
I am grateful to God for blessing me with a happy disposition, which has more
often than not helped me to get through some of the more distressing events in
my life with a smile on my face, even when my heart was heavy.My journey so far has been an unusual one, to say the least. Raised by my maternal grandparents and witnessing the untimely death of both my mother and father whilst still very young, I was subsequently rejected by close members of my immediate family. This led me to become affectionately known amongst my friends as ‘The real Cinderella.’
My maternal grandmother always used to say to me, “One day someone will write a book about your life” and funny enough, I always knew they probably would.
I
have always believed that, no matter what life confronts you with, it is
possible to get through it in a way that will ultimately serve you well. If you
are faced with a problem, I feel you should change your attitude not your goal,
for the outcome will be greater if your attitude is born from wisdom and
positivism rather than arrogance and negativity. This is my humble view, for
what it is worth.
Forever the optimist, I firmly believe God only gives you challenges He
knows you can overcome and ultimately that will help you to grow. Without rain,
we could not appreciate the sunshine, and without the difficult times, we could
not appreciate the good. When you cry out to God for what you have lost, He, in
response, will show you what you have found. So, do not fear that which you do
not understand; instead embrace the chance of the rewards of new discovery.
Yes, sometimes it is hard to remind yourself of all this when you are face-down
inside a bottomless black abyss, however, if you can climb out and pick
yourself up, what you will discover will amaze you. What you will find is a new
found strength you never knew you had. Having been face down in that black
abyss myself on many an occasion, I know it is possible to come out on top.
Don’t be afraid to fall. We learn from our misguidance. Just keep reminding
yourself that without risk there can be no growth; for you must take a chance
and try a new path in order to grow.
My
grandmother always said to me, “If you fell down a hole, you’d probably come
out with a silver coin in your hand.”
What a marvelous outlook on life and what
conviction and belief she instilled in me and in my ability to remain strong,
even in my darkest hour. So think to yourself, if you fall, then next time you
will know where to tread and you will do so more carefully!
Amidst
the adversity I’ve experienced in my life, I always knew I wanted to follow in
the footsteps of many people in my family and enter the unforgiving world of
show business. Perhaps it was a quest for love or just a cry for attention,
but, from as early as I can recall, it was always my dream to one day appear on
television or stage and see my name in lights. I’ve always believed I grew up
under the guidance of a bright shining light. Perhaps that is why I have always
reached for the stars.
My
family and friends’ reactions upon telling them I was finally going to write a
book were, I am pleased to say, one of encouragement all round. The question I
kept getting asked by everyone was, “What is the premise for the book? Will it
be a how to follow your dreams book, a how to get into the world of acting
book, a self-help book or one of those inspirational, real-life, heartbreak to
happiness story books?” And my answer, “I hope, all of the above.” My story is indeed that of the real Cinderella. It is one of compassion
and overcoming heartache, whilst maintaining a smile on my face at all costs.
It is also the story of reaching for your dreams. It really is true what ‘they’
say, "Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone."
I
hope this book will make you laugh, cry a little and search your soul to help
you become the person you truly are worthy of becoming.
This
is my story… Emma Fletcher
What inspired you to write this book?
Having never kept a diary,
when I was originally approached to write a book about my life experiences, I
was unsure how the process would make me feel. As I am a very private person,
my initial reaction was I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to write down my
personal experiences and intimate feelings on paper for the world to read,
leaving myself open and exposed. My next thought was, as I have been through so
much upset in my life, perhaps the memories were best left in the past, where
they belonged.
My initial thought when agreeing to write
this book was, “Why would anyone want to read a story about my life?” The
response I received was simply, “Because your story is inspirational and you
have so much to share” I was aware that if I were to tell my story I would have
to tell the whole story, as half of it would only reflect half of who I am. I
was also concerned the book should not turn into one of naming and shaming or
finger pointing. The most important element would be for it to become a book
which might inspire and help others to overcome adversity in their own lives
and to demonstrate through my story how it is possible to come through the
other side of heartache with a smile still on your face and your faith in
humanity intact. That is exactly what I hope you the reader feel having read my
story. If reading this book can indeed inspire you to follow your dreams
against the odds, then I have succeeded in my mission and this book was worth
writing.
Where did you get the inspiration for your book’s cover?
The idea for the cover of course came from the story of Cinderella,
however I wanted it to be more than that. I wanted to get across to the readers
the notion that life may bring you challenges, which can certainly unsettle you
and even knock you off balance but it doesn’t have to break you. It is possible
to get back onto your feet again and stand tall.
Who has been the biggest
influence on you personally and as a writer?
I very much enjoy books of all different genres. I am
however, mostly drawn to reading biographies, stories of individual’s personal
struggles and of triumphing over adversity, which I believe my story to also be.
What were your struggles or obstacles you had to overcome to
get this book written?
The biggest struggles I had to face were those of an
emotional nature. I had to allow myself to relieve elements of my past, which
were painful at times but a necessary process in order to write the book. Completing
the book nevertheless, proved to be a cathartic experience.
A bit about the book and who it was written for.
Enjoy books based on real life? Looking
for a book to connect to, having survived trauma or in the process of facing a
personal battle?
“If the Shoe Fits - the Story of a Real
Life Cinderella,” is the autobiography of one woman’s journey through a series
of traumatic events, aimed at empowering the reader with their own battles.
Author Emma Fletcher, leads her readers through her heartwarming personal
battle with tragedy, explaining how she dealt with each event faced. Fletcher
openly considers and analyses, how each event impacted upon her life and
subsequently lead her to self-realization. She looks at how each moment shapes
us into who we become and ultimately how she broke the cycle of allowing trauma
to define her. Fletcher eloquently describes how she dealt with each event and
how, through soul-searching and personal discovery, she was able to understand
what these life changing events meant to her purpose in life. As she looks at
how these discoveries enabled her to come out the other side of each traumatic
moment with renewed hope, she considers how grief and tragedy can be used as a
tool to empower us, rather than needing to define us. The author manages to
offer readers a sense of self-empowerment over their own lives, through her
candid and refreshing writing style and earnest approach to her life. If the
Shoe Fits is an honest and thought-provoking journey, filled with parables on
life and a look at how it is possible to deal with each encounter we face,
allowing it to become a positive learning curve, to lead us to the next moment
in our life. Aimed at helping people in a similar situation, Fletcher reflects
on how each event both shaped her and made her into the person she is today.
Her story will make you question whether there really is such a thing as
coincidence or whether each and every moment, is intentionally designed to lead
us to the next; the building blocks of life and the very foundations of who we
are.
If you were going to give one reason for anyone looking at your book to read, why should they buy it?
To be inspired to allow yourself to follow your dreams; no matter the odds or the adversity you have faced in life.
What do you consider your greatest success in life?
The ability to bring a smile to people’s faces and give
people hope. A personal little quote of mine:
“Little is the person who's scornful
in his wake but big is he who
surely knows honor for honor’s sake."
– Emma Fletcher
in his wake but big is he who
surely knows honor for honor’s sake."
– Emma Fletcher
Everyone has life
lessons to learn, tell your readers one or two of yours and how they make you
the person you are today.
After watching the magnificent
film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, it made me question whether
if there were a tablet I could take to forget all the bad experiences in my
life, would I? Yes, quite a question. But who would I be without my life
experiences I asked myself? Don't get me wrong, I don't love trouble and when
it knocks on my door I do my best not to invite it in for that full English tea,
but would we not be poor shadows of ourselves without our experiences and
surely none the richer nor wiser? To appreciate the highs we need to have, at
some point in our life, experienced the lows. Not that I would wish my more
unfortunate experiences on anyone, but they have certainly made me appreciate
the finer things in life. So I decided that, if there were a tablet I could
take to make me forget all the bad parts of my life, I would not take it. You
read that correctly. I wouldn’t take it. In fact, I think it would be a pretty
bitter pill to swallow if it were to make me forget all the things I have been
through in my life and all that I have learnt to get me to where I am today, to
be the person I am.
I have realized that tragedy can strike at
any time and with it comes the power to make or break you. In my case, I thank
God it has made me strong. God's plan is not always apparent when adversity
strikes, although you can guarantee it is usually the making of someone, one
way or the other. I say choose the upwards spiral if you can!...
… I have learned that whilst
it is okay to reflect upon past experiences in order to learn from them, it is
not okay to indulge in them. I don’t want to forget them completely either, as
they remind me how far I have come. There are two schools of thought; one which
says we should sit down and talk about our past to an impartial counsellor for
hours, so we can reflect on where we went wrong and avoid making the same
mistakes again and the other which says, leave the past completely behind and
focus only on the here and now. My feelings on these two schools of thoughts
are, that whilst I feel we can learn something from both of these ideals, we
have to be careful not to adhere to either of them in complete isolation. If we
spend too much of our life reflecting on and indulging in our past experiences,
we can become very self-absorbed and start reliving the past, repeatedly. I
know I have been guilty of this myself many times before now. I call this
self-inflicted emotional vandalism. However, if we reflect only on our daily
interactions and live only for the moment, forgetting the past completely, then
we lose a sense of depth and who we are. Reflecting helps us not to make the
same mistakes again in the future - isn’t that what the history books tell us?
Likewise, indulging causes us to get stuck in the past. So the trick is not to
become so engaged that it prevents you from moving forward but to recognize its
lessons. Where we have come from is inherently a part of what makes us who we
are, although it does not necessarily need to define us. I think there is a
happy medium which lies somewhere between the two schools of thought, which
allows us to recognize old habits, so we don’t repeat them and yet remain in
the present, working on ourselves in the here and now. So remember the past,
live in the present and look forward to the future. It is a fine balancing act.
Rather than having therapy which makes you
relive your past or tells you to block out your past altogether, the solution
surely has to be to acknowledge your problems first and look at what you
can do in your life to help change your mindset? (I should add here, I am
not suggesting to not have therapy, if that is what you require). So many of
us, and I include myself in this scenario, are guilty of allowing negativity
from our past to literally control our present. As soon as any new problem
confronts us, we suddenly find ourselves connecting it to all the negativity we
are holding from our past and allow all our old demons to rear their ugly heads
again. This results in making the problem bigger than it ought to be. Don't
allow your past to control your future. Too many people spend far too much time
dwelling on their past and end up missing out on the present. I faced my demons
and forgave myself and others who have hurt me. I have now learnt to not dwell
on the past and to forgive myself for some of the choices I have made. I have
learnt to leave the past where it belongs and to leave tomorrow until tomorrow.
This allows me to live where I belong: in the present. This really is the only
way to move forward in life. Recall good memories fondly but don’t allow
bad ones to dictate your future. This mentality also helped to remind me that
if I wanted to be able to love again, the first thing I had to do was love
myself. Thankfully I have found the courage to search deep inside my soul and
rediscover the person I was before all my demons took over.
So to summarize, you have to face the
mistakes you’ve made in order to work out how not to repeat them. You don’t
have to keep reliving them. The expression; ‘Ignore it and it will go away,’
in my opinion is a dangerous myth, which amounts to ignorance, and ‘ignorance
is not bliss’. Burying things does not make them go away, it just keeps them
hidden, until they resurface in a different guise. Better to face your fears,
so when they do resurface you are ready to take them on with strength. As fears
are really just questions, that require an answer. When you can stare these
directly in the face and answer them with a resounding ‘yes’, then they will
disappear, as what you want in life is bigger than your fears. Recognize your
mistakes and your fears from an objective rather than subjective viewpoint. Old
habits are merely an addiction and any addict will tell you in order to change
yourself, you must do it one day at a time. As the saying goes, ‘Don’t run
before you can walk.’ This is so true, as you will only fall over. I ran
and I fell and it hurt! If you can’t manage a day, try an hour; then slowly
break your habit by increasing the hour to two and so forth.
For me regret is now also a thing of the
past. If I'm upset about how something has turned out, I will either try and
change the outcome, or if I am unable to, then I allow myself to let it go,
otherwise you can spend your life worrying about what could have been, to the
point of digging yourself into an early grave. I’ve learnt to love the moment,
as only in the here and now can real change occur. Regrets are a waste of
precious energy. I used to regret everything. My favorite
expression was, ‘What if?’ Now the only thing I regret is that I wasted so much
time regretting! Don’t focus on what is lacking in your life, just on what you
want to achieve. The passage of time is relentless and will wait for no man,
but it can also be a healer; for although time cannot change the past, it can
serve to soften the pain. Whilst I was writing this book I learnt that the
relative who had caused me so much personal harm had passed away. This news
conjured up a whole array of emotions and brought a lot of my past to the
forefront of my mind. The knowledge of his passing did bring a tear to my eye.
It saddened my heart to think of the relationship we could have had, should
things have been different. We cannot change the past, so we must not allow it
to dictate our future. We also have to learn to forgive, because if we hold
onto anger and resentment, or retain ill feeling towards others, all that happens
is it ends up eating us up from the inside out and we become embittered. So
whilst I can never forget the hurt caused by others, I do forgive them.
Although my past no longer defines me, it
was, nevertheless, certainly the essence and building blocks for who I am
today. I have asked myself before now if, God forbid, there were a fire in my
home, which belongings I would rescue
if I had the time? A strange question I hear you cry. Well, yes, I admit I do
ask myself strange and testing questions it’s true. Perhaps it's the actress in
me carrying out my own constant character breakdown, or perhaps it's just
the fact I tend to over-analyze at times. Nevertheless, I think these types of
questions force us to take stock of ourselves and discover what truly makes us
tick. They make us reflect on whom we have touched in our lives and what and
who is important to us. They also make us question what important selfless acts
we have carried out over the years. So, what items would I save? Would it
be my vast collection of DVDs? Perhaps I would grab my jewelry box from my
closet or the trophies and certificates from my wall? Actually, it would be
none of the above. The items I would save are my photo albums of those dear to
me, the scripts and the music I have written and my artwork. In fact, what I
have just described to you amounts to grabbing memories of most of the things
that make me who I am. When I am laid to rest, it is not important to me to be
judged on how many precious items of jewelry I have collected, but on how many
people I have touched, hopefully with kindness. We can’t take our diamonds and
pearls with us when we pass away. The meaning of life is not about what you
take with you, but what you leave behind, so choose wisely what type of person
you wish to become.
What one unique thing sets you apart from other writers in
your genre?
This is my story.
Tell your readers anything else you want to share.
“If the shoe fits wear it;
then go and buy another one
to place on the other foot!”
– Emma Fletcher
