Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Run Girl, Run: Ignoring Red Flags Now Will Cost You Later by Sherrie Adams


Sherrie Adams

Run Girl Run

Sherrie Adams (Facebook)


Tell your readers a little about yourself, where you grew up, where you live now, where you went to school etc. Let them get to know the personal you.

Sherrie Adams grew up in Headrick, a small rural town in Southwest Oklahoma, just east of Altus, where she currently resides. She has two handsome sons, two beautiful daughters-in-law, four grandchildren, and another one on the way.

At the age of 26, Sherrie enlisted in the U.S. Army, where she served four and a half years. During that time, she was stationed in Texas, Germany, and Arizona. Sherrie came back to Altus and worked various jobs before landing a job where she has been working for the last 12 years. Sherrie is a recent graduate of the Certified Public Manager (CPM)Program, which is a nationally accredited program for future leaders.

Based on her personal experience with narcissistic abuse, domestic violence, and toxic relationships, Sherrie is passionate about educating and helping women escape the vicious cycle of abuse.

What inspired you to author this book?

After a bad relationship, I prayed for a husband for five years. I was single and celibate for those five years. I finally stopped praying for a husband, crossed out almost everything in my prayer journal that I had been praying for except some stuff in the margin, and said, "God, You know my heart for a husband." Not too long after that, a man came into the church, and he "became" everything that I had prayed for. Our friendship turned romance quickly, and because I was so blind to the charm and charisma that he had and desperately wanted someone to love me, that I ignored the red flags were present. Before we got married, he was very kind. After we got married, he became very possessive, angry, and violent. All those things were there before, but I just didn't see them. I had to figure out how to get myself out of a toxic, violent, narcissistic abusive relationship quickly before he killed me. I eventually got out of this marriage, but it wasn't easy or safe. He ended up going to prison for violating the protective order and for felony stalking. He is now out of prison, and I still don't feel safe. I know that I was not the only one who was going through relationships like this, and there are people still trapped in these toxic relationships. I escaped, and I want to help others do the same.


Where did you get the inspiration for your book’s cover?

Canva. I was going through the book covers, and none really fit what I was looking for. My ex-husband was evil and very manipulative. When I saw the hand with the snake wrapped around it, I decided that was the book cover that fit him as a narcissist.

Who has been the most significant influence on you personally and as a writer?

My momma was one of the biggest influences. We struggled in our relationship when I was growing up, and I had absolutely no idea why she treated me the way she did. I felt abandoned, rejected, and unloved. It wasn't until I was in the military that I really wanted to repair our relationship. I had no idea the struggles that my mom had gone through as a child or even a young girl had affected the way she raised me. I only learned the truth about the trauma that my momma endured growing up when I was writing the book.

I discovered why I felt the way that I felt as far as being abandoned, rejected, and unloved when I was researching what was happening to me in my toxic marriage. I was googling the things he was doing and discovered the term narcissistic abuse. That led me to YouTube videos of Dr. Ramani, where I not only learned about narcissistic abuse but everything that made me vulnerable to narcissists and that every relationship that I had since childhood had been narcissistic.

What were the struggles or obstacles you had to overcome to get this book written?

My momma is now in a nursing home with end-stage dementia, and one of the struggles that I had to overcome was not knowing that my mom went through the trauma she went through and learning why she did the things she did. I had to overcome self-doubt and insecurities of my own about not being good enough and then put my vulnerability out there for the world to see as I documented the abuse that I went through. Probably the biggest struggle I had was forgiving myself for allowing myself to get entangled with this monster. How did I not see him for who he was? Did I have rose-colored glasses that were glued to my face?

Tell your readers about your book.

It's my story about ignoring red flags that I didn't realize were red flags and found myself married to a malignant narcissist. I tell readers the red flags that were there and, from my perspective, what they looked like and how to recognize red flags. I tell readers how to escape from narcissistic abuse and domestic violence. Charm and charisma aren't all it's cracked up to be. If the person you're interested in can charm the bark off of a tree, run and don't look back.


Who is your target audience, and why?

People who have been in toxic relationships, whether they are working, personal (family), or romantic relationships with people who are manipulative, deceitful, and abusive. Too often, some people don't realize they are even in a toxic relationship until it's too late. Those people have sometimes been conditioned as a child, and they gravitate toward certain types of relationships because they are familiar or comfortable, not realizing they are toxic. I want to open people's eyes to recognize narcissistic red flags and what to do if they encounter them.

What do you consider your greatest success in life?

Graduating from the Certified Public Manager (CPM) Program and writing Run Girl Run about a snippet of my life that was one of the darkest in my life. I went into the CPM not knowing what to expect. I had just got myself out of a toxic and tragic relationship and was going through stuff with my nephew, who was there to protect me from my ex-husband right before I entered the program. Right when we began the CPM Program, my nephew was brutally murdered by a 17-year-old psychopath who chased him down and ran him over multiple times. I was grieving the marriage that I prayed for five years; I was trying to process my nephew's death, planning his funeral, and trying to keep myself together every day as I went to work and also tried to get these classes done. Luckily, the class was something that was paid for by my employer, and my employer allowed me to get my class work done during work hours. The program was headed by Janet Jones, a God-fearing woman who encouraged me to stay strong, prayed with me, and kept me in prayer during some of the darkest moments in my life. She is also the one who encouraged me to write a book about my journey. The book I had initially intended on writing was about healing from everything that I had been through, but I decided to write about why I needed healing in the first place.


What one unique thing sets you apart from other writers in your genre?

Honestly, being vulnerable for the world to see after being vulnerable from narcissistic abuse. Just the trauma alone from narcissistic abuse is enough to put someone into a shell or hole and not ever want to come out or trust anyone. I am a fighter and always have been. I guess I can truly say that is something that I got from my momma.